“Not my Circus,
Not my Monkeys”
A friend, RM shared this on Facebook, “Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys”. It
helped me a great deal as I found that I had been sharing too many circuses as
well as way too many monkeys while most of them were definitely not mine.
When we lived in the world, partake in
the living, we often end up with much more than we think that we can handle and
I for one was despairing from it, the constant influx of various woes, real or
imagined from others and from myself kept hitting on my senses and mind until I
had reached a limit and finally starting picking myself up from among the rubble, dusting the
reminiscences from the outside and
inside of my soul and began unraveling the threads that had entwined themselves
around my heart and had burrowed into the very core of my being. Enough is enough. Get over it, past it and walk back to the
happy, optimist soul who believed in the divineness of everything and
everyone. That soul was interested in
sharing, helping, relishing the days that unfolded in the miracles of the
universe.
But how, how to find the complete
faith in miracles that had slipped through cracks that had eroded my being of
divine energy. I started in the middle, in the heart, with uncertain steps
while I sweep the webs of unquiet, disorderly pieces of chaos out the door, hopefully
to never be seen, felt or heard from again.
Optimistic, I hoped so.
But though it may not always be my
circus, sometimes it is still my monkey.
At least that is what my husband and I discovered while our son was
working on getting a new apartment with his girlfriend. Having no job to speak of, he needed
information from his parents to show that he was a good risk with his parents’
credit reports, etc to be faxed to the property management. Hence, not my
circus but it was definitely my monkey.
Fortunately for both our son and his girlfriend they were able to move
into the apartment they wanted without us signing our lives away which we were
not willing to do. Sending dollars his
way on occasion was a commitment we were willing and able to do. Who was it anyway that didn’t mention the
lifetime contract between a child and their parents? It is not mentioned
anywhere of the numerous circuses that one’s monkey might be in traveling in
while winding through the growing process of
being an adult, an independent being who will somehow survive the walk
of life while living on this planet.
Back to my particular thoughts of the
circuses that I feel are revolving about me, how do you get rid of the ache
from watching a young friend struggling to keep a happy face through the long
days of waiting before facing another ordeal.
You don’t. You can’t if you have a heart with any compassion so you try
to remember that their particular painful circus is not yours though in some
way it seems that you have acquired another monkey.
I guess it becomes a matter of
stopping before walking out the door, taking a deep breath and setting our
intention for the day. We do have
choices. I am choosing to be happy. I am
choosing to allow myself to love me. I am relishing the knowledge that I am a
divine expression of God, my divine creator, the goddess or whatever name you
might want to place in your mind while creating a healthy space for growing in
peace.
I am back to reading those things that
help my frame of mind with positive gifts that anchored my heart, mind and soul
in just the right spot for me. By turning off the fears that seems to be
everywhere I am achieving high ground where I can sit watching the green blades
of grass escaping the earth to carpet the world in my mind. I can sit back, close my eyes and worship the
fragrances of fresh blooming roses of protection that I have seen in visions. By
allowing the beauty to flow into my mind and body, I find that I am once again
becoming myself of years past. I liked that woman, her smiles were radiant, her heart was purer and her belief was
complete. I think that I will stay
here. Wish me luck.
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