Waiting for the Other Shoe
Do you ever have those moments of
feeling like you are waiting for something? It is almost a heightened state of
awareness bordering on some of the same effect I feel when I am attempting to
meditate. It causes me to pause, to
listen and to reach out with my heart.
I had a
moment last night as I work towards drifting to sleep. Not really a feeling of
what will happen next but instead a feeling while I was compiling a list of
what I was grateful for in the day I had just traveled through. I had a moment
of awaiting, holding my breath, seeking out with my mind for a thread to grab,
looking for the clarity to gain some insight.
I lost it. Gone as drops of rain dripping off a leaf to be absorbed into
the earth. At least, out of my sight.
It seems I
am getting a lot of messages. I just wished the telegraph system was better. I
can hover in my mind on the edge of the universe taking in the view all I want,
but when I return I am reminded of so many things, when turned on edge, seem to
be lacking something. I ignored most of
it. Instead, I watched the man going
about his business, vacuuming, doing dishes and I enjoy the occasional nuzzling
of my ear on his way to complete another errand.
Today after
going to the grocery store, I let him know I was going to be reading for ten
minutes before I started the casserole dish.
I put some items in the refrigerator and promptly sat down to enjoy a
new book I had barely started. Out of
the corner of my eye I saw my husband looking intently at the recipe that his
mom had given him years and years ago. Soon he was cutting up the onion,
preparing it to sauté in a small frying pan. I read a few more sentences and
headed to the kitchen. Patience is not a
state for his tummy.
Patience, it
is hard to have patience. Currently, I
am waiting for the years to roll by so I can retire. I am still absorbing the
idea. I am hopeful I can treat it as new
job. Get a schedule started. One, get
out of bed. Two, think about breakfast.
Three, kiss husband as he heads out the door for work. (Yes, I am a cougar.) Four, take a walk.
Weather permitting. You get the
idea. Purpose, reading, writing and
arithmetic to be enjoyed daily. Why, the arithmetic? Well, how much money will I have? Expenses? How long will I be enjoying this
world? I ought to have a plan of some
sort. Or I could simply wait for the
other shoe to drop.
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