Charting my Way
I like
lists. I am the sort who plans her day
in a somewhat haphazard way. I have given up on should (ing) myself. If it doesn’t happen, I am fine with how the
day has gone as I look for what happened.
So, I started a list, a very random chart of what I hope to drink, eat
on every day, perhaps read, cook. It
seems to be working. I keep revising and
adding to it as I go along. I like it.
It is not great writing and sometimes my handwriting leads me to mark the wrong
food group, or with a huh, what is that? But I don’t worry, I just head to the kitchen
and eat it or start cooking if I don’t get distracted by a book. Writing without glasses leads to interesting
things
I assume
everyone believes or knows our bodies change as we gain the years around the
sun. The aches, the pains, the loss of things
not working seems to be happening more. But I have decided to adopt a leisurely
attitude to it all. It happens and I am
still moving.
I started writing this on July 21st, 2022. I am still grateful for being able to move but my list of things I am grateful for has grown. I now have Parkinson’s.
***
The Parkinson’s Poet
I have Parkinson’s.
I am a poet.
This is part of the story.
Which rambles, stutters, leaning into silence
Changing with each tick of the clock.
It hovers until a desire to walk, to reach, to hold,
to grasp, to do
Anything, all things even speaking with a voice
A voice without the trills, crescendo passages of joy
Lingering in the air. Now disappeared.
Endless rests without reason, a mind asleep before an
open door
Where beyond is things, ideas, and moments of
opportunities.
Yet, sitting, drinking tea or coffee is a common event
without shaking of limbs, yet.
Fingers obey the request of tapping, tapping on keys,
chopping, cutting, even the simple flossing
Of tired teeth from chewing, chewing for the
swallowing, swallowing.
This is part of the story.
I am a poet.
I have Parkinson’s.
***
I am
grateful for life. I was able to have a baby, raised him with the help of the
man, my husband. I am grateful for being able to work and go on vacation with
my son and my husband. Both my husband and I are actors. I remember dancing and
singing on the stage. Sometimes, acting is very physical. I died in Act I and
then Act II of a play. I did prat falls
when I died. Oh, I can still get up and
down off the floor, but it is with great intent as I carefully bend down and
ease myself down for an easy yoga workout. I take meds faithfully, morning,
noon, and night. It is a good time for gratitude
when I think of the scientists who develop the meds, the manufacturers, and the
traveling my meds must do before they reach me.
I think my gratitude must start with the awareness of my first breath in the morning as I swung my legs off the bed. Afterall, I am still here.
***
Just what have I been doing in my spare time. Napping has been a high priority. Walking, I love walking particularly in the early morning with all the birds waking up and greeting the day. Writing now and then with the emphasis on then. I have been writing short stories, and I am excited to be included in several anthologies. Here is one of them. Release date is May 11, 2026.
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