Walking without lead in my pockets

It is windy today.  We are expecting another large rain/wind storm on this Monday.  After the man headed for work, I bundled up and headed for a walk trying to gain some steps for the day. I walked here. I walked there.  Always staying at least 2 blocks from home, opting out of walking nearer the forest and the tall trees which were bending now and then in the wind.  I contemplated the ease of walking up one street thinking not bad, not much wind, I might be able to go further as the sky did not look like it was ready to dump buckets of water on me.  Until I turned a corner.  I stood still. Trying to hold my ground. As the wind gust eased up, I stepped forward determined to make it a few blocks more.  I ended up stopping, holding my place, my back to the wind as I was pelted with small debris. Needles from the pines, leaves of gold and red from maples, twigs broken and now heading for parts unknown.  I changed my mind, though my heart was in it, for the walking but common sense against having bits and pieces blown into my face, my glasses, and my eyes made me turn around and head for home. 

I like being home on a blustery, rainy day. I spend part of it turning on lamps as the house darkens with the presence of heavy skies. I have wandered about the house now, turning on the lamps which add a false warmth to the rooms.  Outside, the storm has arrived.  It is time for a cup of tea, a moment of sitting in a comfortable chair, with a warm cover on my legs.  It is times like this, I don’t read, I don’t watch a video or tv.  I like to just sit with the tea, hearing the rushing of the wind, the pounding of rain on the roof and windows.  

I used to love the sound of wind and rain but now I find an occasional note of discord vibrating through me.  The world has changed or maybe it is just me with a different awareness.  Whenever I feel it, the note swimming around, I let it hover, I let it dive and I breathe. 

Today, I turned off all of the lights, sat in my chair with my hands and fingers wrapped around the cup. Hot, close to burning but warming my hands as I drank the tea. A bit of cold metal brushed my cheek. The long sterling silver teaspoon nestled in the cup.  I use it to stir my matcha tea as it settles.  I enjoyed the near burning sensation of heat on my fingers, on the palm of my hand.  How often, I just do things without paying attention to what is really going on.  Today, I was present. When my tea was gone. I rested in silence, filled myself with gratitude.

It is always gratifying when you step into a different awareness no matter how brief.  In a wind storm walking without lead in my pockets makes me aware of how light I am, how small in a great big universe.  I like it.