The Great Constancy in Life

The Great Constancy in Life

Lately, I have found that many things occur over and over without any input or output from whatever I think I might be doing.  In some ways it is very comforting.  I don’t have to do anything, things just happen.  The sun comes up and goes down without my thoughts, gosh, I forgot to make a sunrise, drat, sunset time again.  Where is my mind today?

Looking on a smaller scale, there is the daily ritual of the spider in the bathtub.  Every morning as we start getting ready for work either myself or the man, my husband goes in the bathroom to start the water for the tub.   We have a small jar, a small cardboard piece of paper that we keep in the bathroom.  It is our spider jar.  As the days have grown shorter, our equipment has been in use every morning when we discover our spider sitting or racing about the tub in a frantic state of bewilderment.

My husband’s comment this morning as I greeted him at the door with jar, cardboard and spider was the same as always, “Is this our spider?”  My reply, “Yes.”  Without another word, he took everything away and headed out the door, down the driveway of our house to deposit the spider somewhere out there.

Constancy. This creature is part of the great constancy in my life.  Somehow, every day, I imagine its mind saying, “Here we go again.”

It has been months since I started this latest addition to my blog.  Where have I been? What thoughts have crawled or leaped through my mind and really does it matter.   Christmas is nearly here in just a few more weeks.  I am happy that our Christmas tree is finally up as I was hit with a nasty cold which managed to bring with it a horrid cough that made me happy for codeine to keep me resting for three nights.  I have spent a whole week of resting at home, missing doing things I love to do, like walking outside in the beautiful weather that we have been having, cooking Christmas goodies to share at work, and just enjoying whatever comes along.  I really don’t like being sick, it cuts into my social life.

But getting back to the great constancy in my life, my random thoughts just don’t seem to be quite as random as you might think.   Months ago, I asked a local artist to make some felted hats for my son and his girlfriend.  I didn’t think about it much knowing that she make contact with me after my request was finished.  Until this week, I didn’t think about the hats because I have great trust in having things come to me at the right time after setting things in motion.  I had after all, talked to the artist, gave her my phone number, address then I went my merry way.

On Thursday, I thought about the hats, I had told my husband that I wanted an outing because I was finally on the mend.  I had called a local bookstore checking for various books for Christmas, they had them, I told the woman on the other end of the line to expect me on Friday for dinner while I picked up my books.  I texted a friend, asked her to meet us for dinner.  My plans were complete so I took a nap.

Things just go nicely for me, we arrived at the bookstore/restaurant and were greeted by Kate who said “I have a nice table on reserve for you.” I hadn’t given my name nor had I asked for reservation but the universe as always had everything neatly in hand.  Caller ID is great.  It was a table for two, we let her know that we would be three for dinner and quickly we were given another nice table.  We were in luck, a band that we knew would be playing in the small, intimate space.  My husband sat down and I went to reassure the bookstore that I was there and would like to pay for dinner plus my other purchases all at the same time, wandered a bit, added to my pile, headed back to the table to rejoin my husband while we waited for my friend.

Well, it was a lovely night, my friend showed up, dinner was tasty, and the band was marvelous.  Making it perfect was my artist of wonderful hats arriving for dinner as well.  She had lost my phone number but had the hats at home.  She gave us the opportunity to come to her house the next morning and pick up the hats.  Remember my idle thoughts about the artist, the hats, perhaps it was a glimpse into the future, a moment allowing me to know that I would be seeing her or was it my thoughts bringing her to me?  There is an old saying, “Be careful what you wish for.”

 

As I look back at my nasty cold, I am aware that after my husband who had surgery over a month ago came home from his visit with the doctor stating that he had been released from all restrictions.  I felt a release, a knowing that now I could be sick, have it over and get well before our son arrives for Christmas.  It makes me wonder, did I give myself permission to grab whatever was in the office of coughing, nose blowing just feeling icky co-workers.  Well, it was a stupid idea.  Just because everyone else is doing it, it does not mean that I need to do it.

 

Once again, it seems to me that there is definitely a constancy in my life which revolves around my thoughts.  My thoughts bring both bad and good things to whatever reality I believe that I am experiencing. With this at the front of my mind, I am determined to work harder on the little, restless thoughts wandering through my mind perhaps corralling a few if necessary. I know that my heart, soul and mind seem to expand with music.  Music is great for rounding up various idle thoughts, it brings me to a place where I can center myself, enjoy the brilliancy of the divine light before releasing it outward.  

 

Perhaps, that is what I needed, a reminder of how carefully I can maneuver myself into a situation.  So what is the plan? Where is the strategy for allowing creative, constructive, divine thoughts to grow? It is near Christmas time, a time for miracles. This year, I allow myself the miracle of being. For being brings the constancy of life in every moment.  Merry Christmas to those who celebrate this day. To myself, I will open my heart to all possibilities, to all beliefs for that is the joy of being. 

Gratitude in Eating

You may think that being a “Pollyanna” is easy.   Before I go on, “Pollyanna” is a book written by Eleanor H. Porter.  Pollyanna was always finding a reason to be glad due to her very optimistic outlook on life despite whatever circumstances came her way and with her sharing this viewpoint, she succeeds in changing the world of others.  After the book and the movie, Pollyanna became a noun and an adjective for an optimistic outlook.  I am a Pollyanna.

I did not come by it naturally but rather through many years of living, experiencing, and surviving the events that show up in a life if you make it through your early years.  I have embraced being a “Pollyanna”.  I applaud the idea of finding the good in everything.  For in somehow doing so, I have found that my world has opened up, my heart is freer, my mind is more restful.  There are still days when my “Pollyanna” is hiding, whimpering in a forgotten closet but somehow she pushes back her shoulders, straightens up her backbone, and with a steadying breath heads out the door of the closet leaving the moths, the musty drawers and once favorite garments that have not been worn for years alone.

A recent example of my glad, my gratitude was brought to the front when I lost my dental bridge of some 45 years on a Sunday morning.  I had been experiencing some doubtful thoughts about the dental bridge earlier this year and had gone to my dentist in January to have him look about.  Dutifully, he tried wriggling the anchor tooth in the front and declared that he could not see a problem at the moment (it turns out he should have checked the back tooth).

I was listening to a Portland classical music station on the fated Sunday morning. I sat eating a slice of bread with my almond butter when it happened, the dental bridge came loose in my mouth. I sat not moving as my tongue explored this broken, hard stranger hovering in my mouth full of bread.  When I removed the foreign body, I realize that coated with partially chewed bread and almond butter was my dental work.  This was not a good thing no matter how you look at it.

 

I went to the bathroom where my man was still soaking in his tub of bubbles and shared my news before promptly shifting into my “Pollyanna” mode. 

“My bridge fell out”.  I declared to him holding the traitorous, useless party in my hand. 

“Oh, that is not good,” was his sympathetic reply.

“Pollyanna” replied, “This is good.  Because it did not happen while we are eating out with your mom after church.  It did not happen when we are traveling to Indianapolis to see my Julie and I am not in any pain.”

My husband went back to reading his book and soaking in his tub.

After sharing the news with my husband, I called the dental office leaving a message.  The next morning on Monday, I was able to get in and after a brief exam, my dentist declared that crowns for the front and back tooth was in order with a future dental implant between.  Lucky me, I thought watching dollars fly through the air as my days ahead were lined up.  I was given another appointment for the next day, Tuesday (things happen quickly when you are spending money).

Tuesday morning with the dentist happily starting to work on the back tooth when I heard him say to the dental assistant, “Well, you don’t see that often,” then a quick revised statement, “I have never see that before, have you?” There is a quick affirmative answer to the negative. Fortunately, I was not left out of the conservation.  Doctor stated that he would be doing a quick filling, don’t eat on it and I would have to have an extraction as the tooth was crumbling. One filling later and a crown prep I was out the door contemplating the days of eating one sided, arguing that soups are good, the world is filled with soups and that I like soups.  “Pollyanna” was right there.  “Well, you are not in pain, you have money and you like the oral surgeon. “  She was right, it was a good day.

I was fortunate, the back tooth such as it was did not develop an infection nor did I experience any pain. I was given an appointment for the oral surgeon.  Over a month later of careful eating, remembering that soups are good, I arrived in Corvallis to see the doctor. We were guided to a room and the assistant brightly asked me, “So are you ready to get this tooth out?”  My response was, “Really,” my next eager answer was, “Yes.” Both my husband and I had thought that appointment was just a consultation. Remember “Pollyanna”? She was really glad.  She was thrilled, jumping up and down with excitement. Yes, excitement over the impending extraction of the traitor in my mouth. Despite the wonderful needle pricks to deaden my mouth, my joy was high, nearly spilling out my mouth if it could have worked its way past the blocks holding my mouth open, the oral surgeon with his hands and extraction tools, drills and whatever else he might have been using lodging in my mouth.

 

One hour later with a large hole in my jaw, we were headed home with prescriptions to be filled for antibiotics, a mouth rinse (the blue stuff that I had enjoyed during the dental implant episode) plus a little plastic bag of goodies. Soft foods including ice cream, no straw and let the healing begin.

Yes, there would be no more worries about traveling to Indianapolis to see my Julie with a questionable tooth with a temporary filling living in mouth. The future with a long menu of soups spread out before me was disappearing. I was being freed, “Pollyanna” had been my companion throughout the ordeal of the tooth, and both she and I would share in the days to come along with the gratitude of eating.