Monday, December 22, 2014

Christmas Thoughts






Christmas Thoughts

            When I was little, the magic of Christmas did not happen until Christmas morning with a tree that was softly lit with ornaments dangling, stockings brimming full of round sugar candies, un-cracked nuts and an orange.  Beneath the Christmas stockings and the glorious fresh pine tree was heaven.  Though I was a little girl, I got my Tonka dump truck, a little red barn with a barnyard filled with animals with miniature fences to keep them in and oh, yes, a Barbie doll who would ride out the rest of the day tucked in the back of the little Tonka dump truck with an odd animal or two to keep her company.  I had my Huckleberry Hound Dog stuffed toy as well. 
            Well, now Christmas is not filled with many surprises under the tree which is taken out of its carton then put together with all of its lights attached.  My husband believes that since the tree came with lights that it has plenty but since I have a different view about the lighting of the Christmas tree, he laboriously adds the many other strands of colored lights to our little tree while I sit and read giving encouragement as needed.  After all, Peace to all is the idea of Christmas and peace in our house stems from the happiness of his little wife.
            My husband has found out that checking the lights before putting them on the tree has saved him the trouble of cursing mildly.  I have helped him with this epiphany of the past just in case it has disappeared from his mind by asking him, “Did you check the lights?” I offer to help without stirring from my post at the table with hot tea in my hand.
After he has the tree put together with the lights attached, the boxes that were filled to the brim and were taped shut are bought down from the attic and from the top shelf of the closet for me to begin the decorating of the tree and the top of small upright oak piano.  Choices, so many choices with so many ornaments that I have acquired from over thirty years of cohabitation with my angel of a husband.  Some are glass balls while other ornaments are wooden or twisted wires stars, ceramic angels, white cotton thread crocheted stars and beaded bells of blue, purple, red and as well silver.  I love the glimpses of these various symbols of the holiday peeking throughout the branches of this green plastic imitation pine tree.  No spiders will be coming out of hibernation in the warmth of the room, no bird nest will be found that was left from the summer, a nest with bits of soft down feathers mixed with the refuse of baby birds that have flown away to seek their own summer in whatever is left of the year.   
But the magic happens and when the tree is complete with its lights with the simple golden bead garland and many different ornaments, it is Christmas that glimmers in the corner where the tree rests upon the tan harpsichord that is covered with several yards of red fabrics that have patterns with Santa Clauses, a yard of cloth with golden angels, and still another red yard of fabric wrapped about the base of the tree with candy canes, toy drums and sleds imprinted on a sea of red. The Christmas tree skirt peeks out from beneath a blue, silvered mass of tinsel where a stuffed bear on a sled holds his book of Christmas carols, and gradually the presents join with some dignity to wait for the great day that is coming.  On the top of the little brown oak piano, it has acquired a new magic of its own with lights, angels, snowmen and Santa hiding in the tinsel and green lights reflecting back into the darken room.  It is magic, hope and miracles waiting to happen.
I hope that everyone has a bit of magic in their lives whether is it simply waking up in the morning without the usual aches or new ones.  Here is my gift to you, enjoy.  The following little story was written about 26 years ago when my son was young and yes, I do know how to spell his name but it is more of a period piece so I chose a different spelling for his name and he didn't want me to us his real name. 

Sleeping under the Stockings

Sometimes the amount of excitement was so strong, that no amount of coaxing could convince the children to crawl between the blankets.  It was after all, the magical night, the night before Christmas.  Tired parents placed cozy blankets around the three children as they sat close to the glory of the dazzling tinseled tree.   There was no fire in the fireplace tonight for the children had begged for the jolly old elf’s sake.  The house was warm for the fire had burned brightly all day.  In a second room, a black pot-bellied stove was banked and it would help to warm the house throughout the night. 
Stockings were hung on sturdy nails that were driven into the mantel place.  Each one had been carefully knitted by grandmother with loving hands.  A plate of tempting molasses popcorn balls were placed on a three-legged wooden stool which sat close to the slowly cooling fireplace.  Carrots and apples sat on the floor, ready for the magical spirit to take to his waiting reindeer.
The mother and father kissed their beloved little girl and two boys, wishing the nodding heads sweet dreams.  The gas lights on the walls were turned down.  The soft remaining light gave the silvery clad tree a mystical beauty.  It was a beauty that seemed to grow and fill the room. The sandman quickly took the children to the perfect dreamland. 
Emily was first to awaken in the stillness of the night.  She gazed at the beautiful tree and looked to see that the popcorn balls were safe on the wooden stool.  The room was glowing softly from the feebly burning gaslights on the walls.  The moonlight shone gently through the wooden paned windows to rest on the floor and rugs.  Emily stared at the moonlight coming in the windows and suddenly she sat up and rubbed her eyes with wonderment.  In the moonlight, sitting on the floor was a small angel.
Emily reached over to her right and pinched Ben awake. Then she turned over to her left and pinched Shawn to wake him.  When that did not work, she pulled on his arm to shake him.  Both boys were groggy.  Emily whispered to them to be quiet and she pointed to the angel who was still sitting on the floor.
The angel was glowing.  As the angel glowed the room became brighter and brighter until it was nearly as bright as the day.  The angel was humming, softly as a light breeze blowing through the tall lilacs that stood by the side of the house in the summertime.  Standing up, the angel started to pirouette about the room and in the soft moonlight.  The children were entranced by the lightness of the angel’s movements and without knowing it they began to dance by the side of the heavenly being.   Their hearts were so light and filled with happiness that without knowing it, the children started floating in mid-air.
They continued to dance for quite some time until the angel stopped with a sigh and sank into a graceful pile on the floor.  The children collapsed breathlessly next to the glowing creature of heaven.  Carefully, Emily reached out her hand to touch the cheek of the angel.  The blessed being, laughed and stood up, then bending over, the angel kissed each of the children on the tops of their heads.  Placing a finger on its lips and nodding its head, the angel beckoned to the children to follow across the room to where the nativity scene was displayed on a low table by the window.  The lovely presence pointed to the glowing display which sat in the moonlight.
Before the children’s eyes, the tiny figures became alive.  The figures started to grow until the room was filled with their presence and Emily, Ben and Shawn watched with joy as Mary held in her arms the holy child.  Joseph stood by her side and welcomed the three wise men with their gifts. In the stable, the soft lowing of the cows and the bleating of the goats and sheep echoed the joy of the angelic choir that was softly singing Hallelujah.  
It seemed to the children that the room had disappeared and that they were truly at the stable where the child slept peacefully in the manger where his mother Mary had placed him.  As they looked to the sky, the children saw the glory of the shining star of Bethlehem above the stable where the child was born.  They knelt in the straw with the angel by their side and gave the pure prayers of children in worship to God.  Their little hearts were filled with the holy love and joy of God.  The heavenly choir’s songs of joy grew louder and filled the children to the brim with peace.
The scene before the children grew dim, the holy figures grew small, and the nativity display sat once more upon the table in the soft moonlight.  The angel led sleepy children back to their beds on the floor and gently placed the blankets about them.  Quickly, the little ones fell back to sleep and the angel kissed each one upon their foreheads. 
The divine angel stood up, and after glowing into a brilliance that flooded the room began to fade away.  As the loving angelic being faded away, the angel turned to the fireplace and winked at the red clad gent who was leaving his wares beneath the tinseled tree and to those who were sleeping under the stockings.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

  





Saturday, December 13, 2014

Sisters, Friends and Sisters Again

          


Sisters, Friends and Sisters Again


          They come into your life before you arrive, waiting to hold you, to bath you and coo back at your smiles.  Big sisters are a brilliant creation.  I applaud their appearance.  Mine made white divinity candy with fresh hen eggs, lots of sugar and walnuts, magic came in the gingerbread houses with lots of frosting, cookies squeezed in pinwheel flowers with green and red sugar sprinkles.
I am told that I embarrassed this older sister with my helpfulness, running out of a bedroom with her falsies for her bra in my hands in front of her date for the evening, calling out to her as I ran to her.”Sissy, you forgot these.”  She was my older sister by twelve years, I think. She has been gone for too many years but her love was left with us for an eternity.
          My younger sister came into the world so I would have a playmate who understood the world of playing with dollies, running for no reason and hiding in the big wooden box in the closet of the room that became our room after our older sister married and move away.
She was the sister that shared the bed in the cold of the winter with frost on the inside of the windows where our breaths which had been escaping from our lungs through twin air pockets in our blankets landed as moisture sweeping the window panes ending up as the exquisite beauty of frosty ice landscapes. We huddled tight together beneath the heavy quilts made by our mother, grandmother and aunts in an unheated room until morning broke with the darkness holding on. One by one we would streak from the warmth of our bed into the icy air of our breathing in the early morning in those years of living on river. Dad would have a fire burning in the big wood stove to warm our bodies as we dressed. It was a time of utter freedom and no cares in the world or so it seemed as we grew on the wild mountain filled with the icy cold, deep snow sleeping against our log cabin in long winters. Spring, summer would come while my sister and I grew.
I believe that I might have had the warmest tummy that cold feet could rest on. The proof lies from past experience with my younger sister’s feet to one of my favorite cousin who in her youth could twist and turn until her cold feet rested safely on my tummy.  I hope that my cousin wears nice fuzzy socks since I am miles and miles away from her.
Days, months, years passed until as sisters and family do we began to have separate lives, holding secrets that we never shared, losing touch with each other lives. We move out into the world.
          I found out that sisters appear without warning which makes you grab yourself with excitement as when I received an email saying, “I have information about your siblings.” I felt completely uncertain about meeting these siblings but finding common ground provided relief and joy in seeing someone who looked like me even though I was greatly loved in my adopted family.  Adoption is quirky you never know what you get but when a new sister finds you and loves you for the same blood that flows though you, you accept the newness, the learning about someone new who has always been there  just a world away.
          I became a friend with this new sister until I loved her with all my heart and cherish her each day. She is another older sister with much of her life behind her. I amazed and grateful that she is a very solid woman and it has become a joy to get to know her.  She turned out to be very protective and would only let some of her/my family know of me. 
A great gift is another younger sister whom I am still getting to know. I will always cherish one of my visits where my younger sister and I played dress up in our older sister’s black party beaded chiffon dresses with lots of costume jewelry adorning our bodies.  While on the back wooden porch that ringed my sister’s house among the pines, my younger sibling painted my toes and fingernails while birds trilled away in the soft whispering of the trees. The songs of birds accented the music of the swaying pines and the call of chipmunks racing in the forest.  Does it make any difference that this day of play was with sisters in their forties and sixties? 
I found you can never regain the childhood where this younger sister might have played with me but as young mature women we became those children as we played in the warm day. One comment by my other much older sister while we pawed through a box of jewelry was that we looked like a couple of eight year-olds. 
I have discovered that there are sisters who have followed you through eternity and lifetimes that have no claim to your blood but these women weep when you do, they pray for your loved ones, share the laughter, and the hopes of your world.  They are friends who are sisters in the heart.

          Interestingly enough, as years pass, sisters reclaim each other when trials of their life shutters into a time of disbelief, non harmony and pain. I find myself wishing for the times of playing without care.  But as I share and listen more closely to myself, I am joyful in finding sisters, friends and then sisters in the women that I meet.  I am being a friend and sister to myself by allowing this part of me to cry when necessary, hope when needed and to rejoice in the moment.  For after all, it is really all that we have.